2025:

REAL HOUSEWIVES POWER RANKINGS

It’s an ever-changing landscape in the world of housewives. But after thoughtful consideration, these are the CURRENT power rankings for all of the US Housewives. I understand things can change, but this is where things currently stand.

#7 Real Housewives of Orange County

I could care less about this shit.

#6 Real Housewives of Miami

Unfortunately this is the dumbest squad of all the housewife crews. I feel lost when I’m watching the show, logic has no place here. If you’re a David Lynch fan, maybe this one is right up your alley. But for me, the only memorable storyline I remember from any of the seasons is when the blonde lady - who was married to a drug dealer, then a gay guy - her son kicked a hobo in the nuts one season.

#5 Real Housewives of New York

This is a weird one. Everything feels forced. For example - the scientologist and the blond lady’s ‘prank’ about getting pregnant from a random dude in an orgy? We are resorting to pranking each other? Come on, ladies. It’s unacceptable. Every woman on the show is just embarrassing: Jenna’s long, smooth pubes being a focal point of her storyline, the British woman’s husband being obsessed with food, I can’t even remember any other storylines. The end was pretty gnarly and almost worth the watch, but it was just too little too late, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another big shake-up on the roster. I think Bravo needs to move on from New York and set its sights on a new city….Chernobyl. I think it might be interesting…women with multiple heads…10 eyes. A bunch of freakish women throwing drinks on each other, arguing.

#4 Real Housewives of Atlanta

This ranking isn’t based on who I think would win in a fight, if that was the case, this group would be on top of the leaderboard. I find a lot of the women on this show good-looking, so I say this with all due respect, but these women look gigantic! Not in a fat way, but in a powerful way.

As far as the show goes, a great off-season pickup, Phaedra back on the roster after an impressive stint on Traitors, it’s a good move. But this doesn’t seem like a big enough fix to really get me jazzed. At one point, this was the best franchise, but now, it seems stale. I still have hope for these huge broads though.

#3 Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kathy Hilton is my favorite housewife. (see below)

#2 Real Housewives of Potomac

For years this has been my favorite franchise, but this seemed like a transitional year. Losing Robyn and especially Candiace, was big. Candiace was one of the best heels in housewife history.

Lets address the elephant in the room, the Grand Dame was mentally off this season, and it’s unfortunate that she leaves the show the way she does.

On the bright side, I like Tracy - I thought her whole storyline with TJ was hilarious.

#1 Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

After season 1 I was concerned how the show would be without Jenn Shah. After season 2 I was concerned how the show would be without Monica…..if you’re going to watch one season of any of these shows of one of these franchises, watch Season 3 of Salt Lake City. Season 3 might be the greatest season in the entire catalogue of Real Housewives, so of course they earn the number 1 spot on the list. Let me put into perspective how entertaining this shit is - Mary (one of the cast members) is married to her fucking grandpa, they barely address it and I don’t even care because there is so much other shit going on. So ladies, if you’re single, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself ‘is my grandpa single?’